Steve T
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The "book"Some of the club's more memorable quotes and bizarre happenings probably aren't all that memorable a few days later when the beer's worn off. However, they still need recording for posterity so someone had the idea today of writing them down in a book which can be taken on club events.
Hence, we now have "THE BOOK". I will look after it but if I'm not going on any particular trip then it should be taken along and any suitable events, thoughts or words of "wisdom" duly noted so that they can't be denied some time later. They can still be recorded here on the forum for the world to laugh at, of course.
Some (and only some) of the entries which immediately spring to mind from this weekend can be summed up as follows:
coolbox
stars / clouds
half-decent
a short sleep
best side
rhubarb
wheelbarrow
You know who you are so get over to confession corner and I'll write it down in the book. If it's not been coughed-up to in a few days then I'll write it down anyway using my selective memory of the event so you might as well get your side of the story straight.
Steve
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CarlS
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Okay, now I'm scared so I will confess!
I am responsible for the quote half-decent. Basically we were discussing the club's history and I happened to mention that we have come a long way from when I first joined to where we are now. I recall that one or two members would get to a level of paddling where they wanted more challenge and would join the shufflers. I think my comment came out as 'at one time any half-decent paddler would join the shufflers! Of course as a club we now run all sorts of rivers and therefore are able to retain members easier.
It may be worth my describing the 'Carl Scale' of paddler grading: 
Beginner: Just starting out and able to paddle on weekly meets at places such as the Burrs, Mersey etc
Novice: Able to take part in trips on rivers such as the Ure, Rothay and starting to tackle harder runs such as Lower Trywern and the Washburn, although perhaps with a swim or two or more thrown in.
Competent: happy to lead lower grade trips and run rivers such as the Upper Tryweryn and Greta, perhaps with the sense that they are at their current technical limits.
Half-decent: able to play on rivers such as the Upper Trywern, Washburn holes etc.
Decent: regular running grade 5+ rivers.
Of course I have listed the above with tongue in cheek. But as a club we do perhaps need to think about grading river trips.
In general, when river trips are planned we give an honest description of what will be involved and if it was felt that you would not be safe then we would say so. To develop as paddlers we do need to get out and run rivers which are outside our 'comfort zone', for this reason some of the trips organised this winter will be described as advanced trips and anyone paddling will be doing so as a group of friends rather than an official club run. We will also do trips which will stretch people (such as the Lower Tryweryn), but these will be official.
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Steve T
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When you're on the river, back-paddling is almost always better than not doing anything at all, and can help to slow things down and get the line right.
This does not necessarily apply to other areas of life.
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Phil
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Steve dont forget Carls THERE DESIGNED NOT TO CAPSIZE
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CarlS
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| Phil wrote: | | Steve dont forget Carls THERE DESIGNED NOT TO CAPSIZE |
I don't think it is possible to build or design a kayak which can't capsize, but I had been wondering how much the boats could take before they did go over. It seems to me that whilst in a river situation a capsize is a fairly regular event (especially whilst playing), a capsize at sea is a rather more serious situation and therefore I felt that the boats would be designed such that they could handle bigger waves even side-on before tipping, although this would only apply if they were being paddled by experienced paddlers.
There is something about the sea which brings out comments such as 'they're designed not to capsize!' and 'this ship is unsinkable!', perhaps it is something to do with the salt air. Anyway, Phil's comment may have resulted from secondhand information, but yes I will take this one on the chin and it would have made the book (if we had one, which we don't yet do we?). 
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Steve T
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Since THE BOOK was only conceived while we were away at Anglesey, much of what went before is unrecorded.
Last night someone (Mel, if you want to blame her) suggested that to set the scene THE BOOK should have a prologue. So, having nothing better to do, here it is (unless I've forgotten something which really should be included, if so remind me):
| Quote: | PROLOGUE
One balmy late-summer evening in 2009, a group of Westhoughton’s finest (but not quite half-decent) kayakers sat in a campsite in Dilligaf, North Wales, beneath a starry sky (or was it? maybe it was cloudy, but you don’t get clouds at night, so where do the stars go?), discussing how difficult it might be to hand-roll a coolbox, which is unlike a sea kayak since they are designed not to capsize.
The day had been spent sea kayaking, flashing at car parks and hiking around the coast of Anglesey, and so the beer, wine and pink Guinness flowed freely. The conversation turned to the club’s past exploits, about moonwalking and mythical ex-members who must have swum, because I did, about how the line is obvious when you get there and how in any case, you’ll be fine (as long as you don’t stand on the rock that’s wedging your kayak). The competent paddlers regaled the group with stories of paddle-eating river trolls and killer clams, leaving their audience in silence, wondering whether doing what Graham Brooks said would lead to the worst that could possibly happen. The ancient Keawyed legend was once again revealed to the uninitiated, but this was not the time to dwell upon the myths of Bent and Bongs.
Some things were better left unsaid, after all how many people does it need to fit the spraydeck of death? Just thinking about the weir of almost certain slight dodginess sent chills through the spine of the most hardened river warriors present that night. And yet they knew nothing of the rhubarb related events that were to follow while they slept.
Wisely nodding their heads, the group of men, women, honorary blokes and lightweights muttered agreement that a record should be kept of the pearls of wisdom that were revealed when the club ventured out, and of the amazing feats involving Tarzan in a wheelbarrow which few had witnessed. While the club’s forum noted many such utterances and events, this was usually long after the adrenaline (or alcohol) which had sparked the moment had lost its effect. Clearly, with the passage of time the subtle nuances of the exact phrase or happening could be forgotten, and these needed to be recorded as they occurred.
So was born ……
.............THE BOOK. |
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CarlS
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Wow! I think Steve is not only after the 'trophy' but with this thesis on 'the book' I think Hilary Mantel has competition; he deserves the prize below:
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Mel Stoddart
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Brilliant!
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Steve T
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I had to Google Hilary Mantel. Does that make me a Philistine, or just a typical engineer?
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CarlS
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Don't worry about it Steve, I had you down for more of a Lilian Harry reader. As you know from the Sea Kayak weekend I prefer the Beano!
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Steve T
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Lilian Harry - not a genre I'm familiar with (no pictures).
Do you really believe that the Beano in the back of my truck was Conor's? Actually I was a Whizzer & Chips reader (better free gifts), then graduated to 2000AD.
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